Last night I co-hosted a Couples Workshop that included yoga, connection exercises, and massage. It was so beautiful to witness couples saying YES to each other, to leaning into vulnerability, and to also play!
I heard multiple participants express gratitude because it’s not something they would do at home. “Life” gets in the way, chores need to be completed, kids need to be taken care of, work drains energy and there’s not enough left over for your partner, and definitely none for creating time to eye gaze or sexy breathwork. They enjoyed someone else holding space to more deeply connect with their partner.
It made me sad to hear that even though these couples clearly have deep love for their partners, relationship exercises seemed like a “nice to have” versus a necessity. I believe when we develop healthy, connected, and secure relationships with our partner, the other things (work, ability to parent well, chores, life in general) are much more fulfilling. We take more risks to grow as individuals, have more fun, make healthier choices, give our children greater feelings of security and an example of healthy relating, our other relationships deepen and grow, and our overall health, including physical improves. Instead of “we’ll get to the relationship after all the things”, what if we put our relationship’s health higher on the list?
Esther Perel says that the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships. This means also if you’re allowing your relationship to be neglected, if it’s unhealthy, if you feel contempt for your partner, or it’s becoming a place of discord, the rest of your life will feel it. Your children will feel unsafe even if they don’t know how to express it or what they’re picking up on. Your job performance could suffer. Divorces/Separations are incredibly challenging and expensive. Overall, your quality of life will be affected by the health of your most intimate relationship.
Think back on relationships you’ve had- healthy and unhealthy. Now, remember where you were in your life. What was your stress level like? How healthy were you? How satisfied were you in your life?
If you’re currently in a relationship, how much time do you spend cultivating a safe place for your partner? How much time are you fully present and available? When is the last time you told your partner how much you appreciate them? Do you read/listen to/watch material on how to improve your relationships?
These questions are here just to check in with yourself. And then ask yourself if you’re ready to go deeper with your partner, to reconnect with them on a new level, and to test the theory that the quality of your relationship has a direct correlation to the overall quality of your life.
If so, I have a FREE mini guided date night offering that you can do anytime, anywhere with your partner. You can do the entire thing, or just one exercise at a time. We all have 10 minutes we can devote to our relationships.
I also offer Discovery calls to try on coaching (1:1 or Couples) with me.
Email me to receive the Date Night and a link to book a Discovery call
