I had to let go of my trusty battery operated boyfriend the other day. It was on its way out for days, and I tried to revive it, but failed. It was my go-to toy, method of quick orgasm, and a great compliment to partner play as it was powerful, could fit in the palm of my hand, and it was cute and non-threatening to male partners.
I was sad at first, it was an easy habit to get into. I knew exactly which setting, where to place it, and was guaranteed to have multiple orgasms in record time. However, I have been working intentionally to create a different relationship with my pleasure, and that includes forming new patterns. So many of us “get off” in the same way and get stuck in a pattern of limitation. I desire to expand my pleasure capacity and to find enjoyment on a wider spectrum.
As I was transitioning to other methods of finding pleasure, while supplementing with “old faithful”, I found it incredibly empowering to use my own hands, lube, and maybe a Yoni egg or glass dildo. I didn’t have to rely on a full charge or the artificial means of achieving pleasure. There’s nothing wrong with vibrators or fun toys, I just don’t want to need the strong vibrations or depend on an external source to bring me joy.
I’m also noticing that the intensity of a vibrator, at most levels, caused me to tense my muscles and even brace myself against the powerful waves. When I build pleasure, by exploring my entire body, not just vibe to clit contact, I can breathe into the sensations. I’m able to expand the pleasure throughout my body, not just in my genitals. I am able to pick up on the nuances of every stroke. I also have better control of when or when I don’t climax; edging is easier to play with when I don’t feel like I’m always on a place of no return.
I’m learning that there are so many more techniques to touching myself than I even knew about. I suppose when you find something that works, why change it? One of my favorite resources is www.OMGYes.com. There are techniques, strokes, real women, and even how to include toys for additional flavor. It’s great not only for solo play, but an amazing tool to teach your partner(s).
My favorite non-mechanical toys are Yoni Eggs and Glass Dildos. I avoid the crystal versions of either because some, like quartz based, can actually crack and shear off, which doesn’t sound like a good time for vaginas. Borosilicate glass is nonporous, less expensive, and easy to clean. Here are a few of my favorite items:
Glass Egg
Glass Wand
Glass Dildo
I enjoy the entire site, but it can be overwhelming! These are great basics to have, and they’re beautiful.
I am excited for this opportunity to really dive deeper into self-pleasure without depending on an electronic device. So far, I have felt nourishment, reverence for my body, an enriched sense of pleasure, and more energy! It’s affecting everything in my life in a positive way. My business has picked up, I’m more present and patient with my children, and I have more creativity! I also walk around feeling turned on and radiant in the best way.
I want all women to know that their pleasure can be a source of nourishment and bliss, a great way to relieve stress, and starts with them! They don’t have to depend on anyone but themselves to experience bliss. I am offering “Bliss Practices” to guide through visualizations, meditations, pleasure practices, and breathwork that are 30-45 minutes, are guided virtually (cameras and microphones off) and customized to your goals. You can book those here:
Please email me if you have any questions, are curious, to share your journey with self-pleasure, or if you’re ready to put the vibe down for a while!