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  • Writer's pictureSavannah Rose

Why Sex Shouldn’t Be Synonymous with Intercourse

Six Reasons Why We Need To Stop Making “Sex” synonymous to “Intercourse”


Maybe you do already see SEX as a beautiful palette of expression, and understand that heterosexual intercourse is just one small slice of life’s most decadent pie.


Or, you’re on board with the idea, but you don’t count that last rendez-vous with your lover as sex because there was zero penetration.


Perhaps you’re in the mindset of “Savannah, of course sex means intercourse, everything else has its own unique name to discern between acts”.


I believe that defining sex to just mean intercourse is incredibly limiting, harmful, and just not accurate.


Here are some reasons why we need to broaden our definition of what sex is, and not stop at intercourse:


  1. This excludes homosexual sexuality. If sex= penis penetrating vagina, what do you call intimate activity between two women?

  2. It puts a lot of pressure on your male partner. Sometimes brain and body don’t quite sync up. Your partner may be turned on and really enjoying himself, but doesn’t keep an erection during the entire session. He still has fingers, a tongue, and a brain- the most important sexual organ!

  3. It places the penis at the center of sex. Umm, your entire BODY can be an erogenous zone.

  4. Most women do not orgasm from intercourse alone, that number is on average of only FOUR PER CENT! To really please your lady, you’ll need to engage in other sexual activities for maximum pleasure.

  5. If Sex=Intercourse, does that mean sex is over after your male partner has his orgasm? With men requiring about 3 minutes to get fully aroused, and on average of 7 minutes of pumping before orgasm compared to women requiring 20-45 minutes to full arousal, the math does not add up to mutual fulfillment!

  6. With this definition, sex becomes something only for men, or even Puritanical that it’s for procreation only. Vagina translates to “sheath”, something to put an object such as a sword into. This doesn’t conjure up sensations of pleasure in my mind.


Intercourse can be amazing! I personally love the connection I feel with this expression, but to start to examine what sex is or can be, you’ll find you can really expand your ability to experience so much pleasure, creativity, and play.


What does sex mean to you? How do you define it? Do you feel complete after an intimate session with a partner even if penetration didn’t occur?


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